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100+ Funny Sayings for Kitchen Crafts

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I love making funny kitchen items. From kitchen towels, to coffee mugs, cutting boards to tumblers, I have quite a few personalized items in my kitchen. In addition to making customized kitchen items for myself, I also love making them for friends, family, and Christmas craft fairs. We’re just a few short weeks from my first Christmas craft fair, so I’ve been planning out what I’m going to change up from last year. 

100+ Funny Sayings for Kitchen Crafts

100 Funny Sayings Kitchen Crafts

Below, I’ve compiled over 100 Funny sayings that you could use for your crafting adventures. I have them separated into their ideal product (kitchen towels, cutting boards, water bottles/tumblers, wine glasses, and coffee mugs); however, many of these could easily work on multiple surfaces. Some of these I’ve had fun sharing with all of you previously (the posts containing the SVG files are linked with the corresponding text below). 

In the past, I’ve used either Heat Transfer Vinyl or Adhesive Vinyl to make these items; however, I decided to try branching out into Sublimation this year. I *just* got my printer set up this evening, so we will see how it goes. 

28 Kitchen Towel Sayings

Eat, Drink, & Wear Stretchy Pants - Kitchen Tea Towel

  1. Blessed Are Those Who Do My Dishes
  2. Alexa, Make Dinner
  3. Alexa, Do The Dishes
  4. Eat, Drink, & Wear Stretchy Pants
  5. Your Opinion is not Part of the Recipe
  6. I Like Big Bundts
  7. The Dishes Are Looking At Me Dirty Again
  8. If I Have To Stir It, It Is Homemade
  9. Many Have Eaten Here, Few Have Died
  10. Oh Kale No!
  11. Don’t Go Bacon My Heart
  12. Don’t Make Me Poison You
  13. Keep The Kitchen Clean – Eat Out
  14. I Want Buns Of Steel, But I Also Want Buns Of Cinnamon
  15. Christmas Calories Don’t Count
  16. I’m Not A Taco, I Can’t Make Everybody Happy
  17. Abs Are Great, But Have You Tried Doughnuts?
  18. We Can’t Have Nice Things, We Have A Cat
  19. Chickens: The Pet That Poops Breakfast
  20. Chocolate Is Like Duct Tape, It Fixes Everything
  21. There Is Always Room For Ice Cream
  22. I Only Have A Kitchen Because It Came With The House
  23. Stove For Display Only
  24. Getting Figgy With It
  25. My Cooking Is So Fabulous, Even The Smoke Alarm Is Cheering Me On
  26. Don’t Make Me Spit In Your Food
  27. Fork It, Let’s Get Takeout
  28. Why Do They Want Dinner Every Night?

13 Cutting Board Sayings

Easy DIY Personalized Glass Cutting Boards

  1. Chop It Like It’s Hot
  2. This Is Where I Murder Vegetables
  3. Many Have Eaten Here, Few Have Died
  4. Dinner Is Coming
  5. I’m Sorry For What I Said When I Was Hungry
  6. One Day, I’m Going To Make Onions Cry
  7. I Will Cut You
  8. Please Cut The Cheese
  9. I’m Cutting Carbs
  10. What The (Fork) Is For Dinner? (Use a Fork icon)
  11. Yoda Best Cook Ever
  12. I Was Groot
  13. I Find Your Lack of Bacon Disturbing

26 Wine Glass Sayings

Making Spirits Bright Wine Glass

  1. Making Spirits Bright
  2. Merry And Bright
  3. Because Kids
  4. Awesome Water
  5. Winosaur
  6. I Had To Deal With People Today
  7. Netflix & Chilled Wine
  8. When I Sip, You Sip, We Sip
  9. Why Limit Happy To One Hour?
  10. One Glass Away From Saying What I Really Think
  11. Jesus Touched My Water
  12. I Can’t Adult Today
  13. Accio Wine
  14. Trust Me, You Can Dance – Wine
  15. Blood Of My Enemies (JK, It Is Only Red Wine)
  16. Hakuna Moscato, It Means Drink Wine
  17. My Doctor Says I Need Glasses
  18. Stop & Smell The Rose
  19. Sip Sip Horray
  20. I Don’t Give A Flock
  21. My Book Club Only Reads Wine Labels
  22. I’m On Cloud Wine
  23. Wine Not?
  24. Dashin Through Merlot
  25. Stressed, Blessed, And Wine Obsessed
  26. Wine Makes Me Fluent In Sarcasm

10 Water Bottles or Tumblers Sayings

Wine Tumbler

  1. I’ve Got It All Together, I Just Forget Where I Put It
  2. I Wish I Was Felicia, She’s Always Going Somewhere
  3. When Life Gives You Lemons, Grab The Vodka
  4. This Might Be Wine
  5. I’m Sorry, Did I Roll My Eyes Out Loud?
  6. This Is Probably Vodka
  7. Drink Your Effing Water
  8. Chaos Coordinator
  9. The Thirst Is Real
  10. Hose Water

25 Coffee Mug Sayings

Awesome Water Coffee Mug - Free SVG & Stuido3 File

  1. I’ll Start Working When My Coffee Does
  2. Black Like My Soul
  3. Coffee, Because Crack Is Bad For You
  4. I Can’t Adult Today
  5. I Run On Coffee & Cuss Words
  6. Goals Today: Keep the Tiny Humans Alive
  7. No Coffee, No Workee
  8. I’m Sorry For What I Said When You Tried To Wake Me Up
  9. I Survived Another Meeting That Should Have Been An Email
  10. Its Too Peopley Outside
  11. Pour Some Sugar On Me
  12. Making Spirits Bright (this would also look great as a wine glass)
  13. The Bags Under My Eyes Are Designer
  14. Good Morning. I See The Assassins Have Failed
  15. Coffee Helps Me Be Less Britney 2007
  16. I Run On Coffee & Sarcasm
  17. I Do Marathons (On Netflix)
  18. Evil Genius At Work
  19. My Brain Has Too Many Tabs Open
  20. Hustle Juice
  21. What I Really Need Are Minions
  22. Instant Human, Just Add Coffee
  23. Auto-correct Can Go Straight To He’ll
  24. Mommy Fuel
  25. I’ll Probably Spill This

What are you going to make first?