I never thought that I would be writing this post. Today marks one year since we entered the adoption waiting pool.

When I left for Kenya last year, I knew that we would be entering the pool soon so I even left Brad a “In Case of Baby” list which included items that he needed to go buy if we got a last minute placement (and the brands that I approved of him buying). I knew that it could take quite a long time to get picked; however, I figured that being quite a bit younger than the rest of the pool would put us at an advantage and that we would get picked in less than 6 months.

Well, I guess my speculative analysis was wrong. Here we are, one year in, and we are still waiting.

For the past year, we have put off vacations assuming that we might have to cancel anything if we ended up with a baby. We are finally putting the uncertainty aside and booked an Alaskan cruise with some good friends. I’m having fun planning out what we will do in each port, designing matching water bottles, and looking forward to just relaxing with friends. Sure there is still the uncertainty of possibly having to cancel this trip if we get a placement between now and then; however, I’m tired of planning my life around uncertainty.

Since our nursery is pretty much done, and the closet is pretty full of onesies, it is nice having something else to focus on and plan.

Our year has been filled with mixed emotions. Some days I’m perfectly fine and patient; others not so much. I have learned that certain things make the waiting pool harder, such as reading the monthly newsletter which lists placements. This past month, it arrived while I was at BlogHer; I opted to let it sit unopened in my inbox because I didn’t want to go through the emotional roller coaster at that time (actually, it is still sitting unopened because I haven’t wanted to look at it).

If you are reading this and just starting on your own adoption journey, I highly recommend simply living your life and not planning around the “what-if”. Maybe not plan a once-in-a-lifetime vacation around the world that can’t be cancelled; but don’t fret about simply heading out of town for a few days.

So I guess our update is more of a lack of update. We’re still waiting and don’t know when anything will happen.